Big Step = Big FAIL!

If you are my friend on facebook, you most definitely know that I had a fight with our front door Monday night.  The turning mechanism jammed and we couldn't get the door open.  I inevitably had to take the door of the hinges, but that was a feat in itself.  I had to use my mad football skillz to bump the door off the hinges and when I went to bump the bottom part of the door off it's hinge, I slammed my face into the door jam! Oh what fun it has been to try and cover a lovely black and blue bruise just under my left eye.  Well once the door was finally off the hinges I was able to get the door knob off the door and rehinge the door.  Tuesday after work I headed over to the Lawrenceville Home Depot to find a new front door knob - I even did research online so I wouldn't look like and sound like an idiot at the "man's store".  Well, as a woman, I must say that that store is the MOST unorganized place in the world.  You'd think that the door knobs would be with the doors, nope!  So after getting slightly irritated...we finally run into an orange apron'd worker.  I immediately belt out "DOOR KNOB!" After his startledness wore off, he lead us to the promised land of knobs - where I took the big step and flirted and enjoyed every minute of it, as I believe he did too.  He wasn't my "usual" flirt type, but I am trying new things and wanting to step out of my box.   After finding what I needed (YAY for new door knobs) we (Shannon - we ride together to work) headed out the door - but Shannon decided he needed my number because we "flirted well" together, so she headed back in to give him my number and I didn't stop her.  She came back to the car with a huge smile on her face and told me that she asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no so she gave him my number.  Before we even made it to Winder I had gotten a text from him.  YAY.  We texted for a couple hours and he said that he would contact me the next day or Thursday (because he is in school and would be in class most of the day).  Well, me being me, I got anxious when I got home to learn more about this person, so I did want any girl in her right mind would do....try and find him on facebook.  Well I found him....and his marital status of MARRIED! FUUUUUUUUUDGE! Boy can I pick em!

One Year!

One year ago, one huge asshole changed my view on myself and my life.  I don't thank him, I don't praise him...I celebrate that he is gone (though he still loves to call in the middle of the night every 2-3 months)

Since this day in 2010 I have grown out my hair, made a list of my FDH, lost 64 lbs, fell in love with my child over and over again and realized I am not the person that he tried to convince me I am....YAY for falling out of fake love and realizing my worth!

and we partied...

So since I have a birthday coming up (#32 - which is weird that Im not freaking out about this number like I did 30 and 31) I decided I wanted to celebrate...Celebrating my birthday and celebrating that I hit my 60lb mark today :) YAY me!  I really wanted to celebrate...with PIZZA! I haven't had pizza ( a real pizza) in so long!  Winder has a pizza place (Dooley's) that a few people have told me about and I decided (though I hadn't been there yet) that is where I wanted to go! So I invited a couple handfuls of people and ate a WHOLE calzone...totally yum!  I was too busy talking to the intermixed group of people that I didn't get many pictures, but a fun time was had! Thanks to all that were able to come...and to those who didn't, you missed out on some yumminess!

 Say hey to Sara! I went to Elementary School (McKendree) and Middle School (Lawrenceville Middle) with her!  We haven't seen each other since we went to different High Schools, so tonight was our 15+ year reunion! So fun to catch up and hang out with her!

The Howell Girls - Taylor and Courtney (23), Ginger (30) and Me (32) - we have some cute genes! Glad they all made it out (including their mom, my aunt Kim!)

My Maternal Gynerations reunion - Julie and Tiffany used to work with Marion (Momma Shields) and I! I actually took over for Tiffany when she left the office! 

I just had to admire our really cute genes again! Grandma would be so proud of us! 

1 week to go

till the mid point of this adventure.  I have until October 24th to get 2 more pounds off of me to make it a total of 60lbs lost!  Of course, it didn't help the Skyler won a very YUMMY chocolate chip cake from the cake walk today...I guess Im gonna have to DOUBLE up the Zumba this week!

Debbie Downer Moment ALERT!

I seem to get stuck in these very pensive attitudes lately.  They seem to be happening more often than not, too.  Mostly occurring on Friday nights when I am at home, messing around on FB watching most of my "friends" add status updates about being out and enjoying the night....and then I start thinking (which is detrimental to me).

My Friday nights tend to consist of me at home, sitting in front of the TV doing....NOTHING. Sad thing is that my Saturday's are starting to get this way too.  I think I have finally hit the loner persona OR I've just realized that I have been this way for a while...either way, I feel lame.

Most of my friends are married or coupled up and tend to spend their time with other married or coupled up folks.   I know I told myself that during this journey of weight loss, I wanted to do it on my own and for myself, by myself, but I'm getting lonely.

My phone rarely rings and if it does it is usually a wrong number or Skyler calling to ask if he can go to a friend's house after school.  Text messages, lately, have been more about work than personal.

Then I start to wonder....what's wrong with me that no one wants to hang out or call and chat....It's a sucky, sad, piss-poor way of thinking and feeling, but I can only put on a happy face for so long before I come to the conclusion that maybe I'm just not the person that people want to be around...

...I need to fix this, but unsure how.

And so it begins....

Skyler has a crush...

He started asking questions tonight while we were watching the football game.  He is curious to how he should talk and treat girls!   I gave him the low down in my opinion how us girls like to be treated.  I made sure I emphasized that we do not like to be picked on and we love compliments, sweet compliments!  He was so cute in the whole conversation and told me that he gets shaky when he tries to talk to her.

It is a GREAT thing that I have a connection at the school and promptly texted Aunt Nak (Skyler's godmother) to get the low down on this girl that has my baby's attention! And just as I have raised him, he has chosen a good, smart and sweet girl.  Her name is Anna and has medium brown hair like his and green eyes, just like him, too! She is a gymnast and a Math Master. OH! And she is taller than he is - which I find funny since he is taller than all the boys in his class - then I had to remember that I was taller than most boys until I got to middle school.

I so, totally, stalked her mom's FB page and caught a glimpse of her.  I must say, I have taught my boy well!

No X's.....

So what?!? I had a cry fest in Wal-mart... It was the Winder Walmart, so it wasn't too bad...but it was for a lovely reason.

I have been so against buying new clothes.  Mainly because I don't want to waste a lot of money (cause I don't have much to begin with!) right now, so that I can spend more when I am the finished product.

Well, clothes (especially scrubs) are getting extra baggy these days and there are days when I get "the look" making me feel like I don't look professional with such bagginess going on.  So, I've instated the will buy one new scrub every pay day.  This isn't such a bad thing because you can usually find a good deal on them some places - even places you wouldn't expect.  Today was the day to buy a new scrub.

I ended up at Walmart and not because I needed a scrub, but since they have them their I thought I would just look and see what they had available.  Last pay day I bought a pair of grey scrub pants and I wanted a top to match.  Apparently this is the season for grey, cause they had three tops that my pants would match.  I found one I REALLY enjoyed (even though it was $16, ugh I hate paying that for a scrub top).  While looking for my size I noticed they only had an XS (HA!), L and 2XL...POOP! I knew I couldn't fit in the XS and the 2XL would be too big (cause that is the size that I started out in 5-6 months ago), I kinda got a little discouraged because I really dug this top.  Well I took the L into the dressing room ready to be all discouraged....slipped it over my head, pulled it down over my shoulders, got down to my hips and it fit over them! IT SERIOUSLY FIT OVER MY HIPS!!! Yes, there may be a little snuggishness, but it fits.  I turned around and I looked in the dressing room mirror....and completely lost it.  Ugly crying, snotty sniffling...whole body crying.  I think I scared the poor lady that stands outside the dressing rooms, because after about a minute of hearing me she said "Honey, are you ok??!" and in my blubbering I was able to tell her that I was ok and after I composed myself and came out of the dressing room I explained myself....and I got a high five! I left Walmart with a huge smile on my face and got in my car and yelled....THERE ARE NO X's ON MY TAG! Thank you Momma for always teaching me to wear waterproof make up!